no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
