its not stalking. its research.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
