call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
