When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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