Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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