Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
