sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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