I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
