I molested 6 butterflies tonight
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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