Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
