do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
