No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize