I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize