Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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