finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize