I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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