i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
