The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
