You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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