just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
