after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Pants are for mortals
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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