Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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