I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
