sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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