is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i out mim tonsoeep
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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