I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
