First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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