Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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