Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Nicole vs. Life
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
