taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I lost the right to judge tonight
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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