And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
