My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize