its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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