Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
