9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
