I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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