Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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