I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
