Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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