it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
