he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Someone signed my nipple.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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