i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
