let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
