i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
