my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
