There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.