Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
There r osticjed everywhere
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
