i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
