Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend