I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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