How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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