even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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