i don't like sucking hair
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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