I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
