So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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