we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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