3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Plan B is the new Plan A
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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