On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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