oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I think my moral compass just broke
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