I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
