Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Even my vagina gasped.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
