I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I wear drunk well.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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