My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
