I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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