haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
